Rest
Last night/this morning Aaron woke up to eat at 12am, 5am, and 9am - nice long sleeps! I feel much more optimistic about life this morning. :-) He is growing so quickly, I feel like he changes every day. I think I'm also feeling good because despite the rain today, the temperature isn't really dropping. Spring has a way of reviving things in me that I thought had died over the winter. My mom stayed home with me and my sisters for most of my life, and I often wondered, especially during college, if being home with kids would be "enough" for me. I've now been home for four and a half weeks, counting the time home before I delivered. I don't think I miss working, but strangely enough I miss the stress. I thrive on deadlines, and now all the "free" time - probably better termed "quiet" time, as it's mostly while I'm feeding Aaron - makes me a bit restless. I feel like I should be accomplishing something (although I guess I am ...). I suppose I'll have to get some good books.
On the other hand, the quiet time is really healing. It's been a long time since I've spent time just sitting and thinking. I've been able to think through the pregnancy (all that puking!), the birth (so painful!), and my priorities.
Much as I hate to admit it, I'm discovering that I value money above a lot of other more important things. I want a nice house, car and clothes more than I want to love others ... I have so much more than I need, and yet don't want to share it or give any of it away ...
... and Aaron is hungry again, and is saving me from getting further into that thought for now!
posted by Sarah at 9:39 AM
3 Comments:
Sarah, Yes I devoured books while I was nursing. I think I read more then any other time in my life. I also enjoyed the stillness of it especially with Jude. Life was so chaotic when he was born and nursing foced me to stop and rest. I am so one of those people that likes to do about 10 things at once so with nursing about all you can do is 2 max...that was good for me the slowing down.
I know what you mean about the money thing. With every kid I have to cut back more on my work and at times it is hard when I look at my lists of wants but the funny thing is that the days I am away on shoots I MISS my boys terribly. And honestly it has taken awhile to build my client base here so things have been slow for me. I think the hardest thing being a stay at home mom (at least a majority of my time) is that everything I do gets undone. There are few goals or projects to finish that don't get unfinished in a matter of time. I miss the aspect of work of having something to do...finishing it...and enjoying the accomplishment. But all that said these little guys are totally worth it!! I would miss all the cute things they do throughout the day. And their little lives and what we do to raise them is something we can carry with us the rest of our lives. Clothes go in and out of style, new cars get old but the time we spend with our kids and what that produces can never be taken away. And on the flip side we can never make up for the time lost. The time goes so quickly...we only have them for such a short time. Enjoy every minute!! Hugs
I often forget the perspective you have because most often, people around me don't understand. They look at me like I'm out of my mind for wanting to stay home.
Yesterday I started reading while feeding Aaron, it makes the time so much more enjoyable, especially during the night!
I wish I would've had more time to read when I nursed. With Olivia I was so tired that I just couldn't focus. And now, with Ava, it's difficult to find quiet while I'm nursing since I have a toddler running around.
Bethany, I have to agree that the hardest thing about being a SAHM is everything getting undone. But, that it is totally worth it. Just hearing Olivia say "Mommy" or Ava giggling when I kiss her, brings a joy that nothing else can!
Post a Comment
<< Home